I am a genius. I just wish it's noticed before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

It's all to do with the last blog I posted (where I mentioned updating the Mac to OS9.2). Since that time, I downloaded a great little number of programs, like the one from a company called Kaleidoscope. Don't bother clicking on this link if:

a- you have a PC. OK, not strictly true... you can find a PC equivelent if you click here, or

b- if you like your computer just the way it is, thank you very much.

For those of you that just want to know what it is I did, I made my computer's operating system look like it was running the new Mac OS X (Aqua).

If you have no idea what that means, that's fine. Most people don't, and I enjoy being the sort that's a year or two ahead of the crowd when it comes to all the latest trends. After all kids, I was listening to rave music that included the word "ecstacy" over ten years ago and the kids of NEPA only now seem to be catching on. If this is you, and you like to rave (and stumbled on this page by searching the 'net for ecstacy) may I direct your attention to Techno Heaven (and please note that these are genuine ravers that know the scene. You don't have to take anything to have a good time, it all comes from inside. Trust me on this one).

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. OS X. If you want to see what it looks like, quite why you'd want to look at it I have no idea, take a look here. Hardly the most exciting thing in the world, but when you see it move, it's a beautiful thing to behold. If you ever used a computer fifteen to twenty years ago, you'll remember how laborious and irritatingly slow it seemed. Trust me on this: using something that works like Mac OS X makes Windows seem shamefully lacking in comparison. Quite why Bill Gates III is the richest man in the world, when everything his company has released for the general public seems to invite hackers to infect your computer, is beyond me.

There's a connected story here, and I'll be brief. Our little Honda Civic is over five years old and, even though drunken drivers have hit it twice as we slept, the worst thing that has happened to it after the fix-ups are an exhaust part needed attaching and one of the lights starting shining a bit high. One of Beth's friends at work has always driven GM (Vauxhall if you're British, Opel if European, Holden if Australian) vehicles and they've always gone wrong on her. Her latest one is four years old and she was talking about her alternator problem as if it's NORMAL for a car to show the strain of old age after four years. Yes, her car is newer than ours, driven a comparible distance, and it's falling apart. Some people will keep themselves in abusive consumer relationships all their lives, I guess.

Anyhow, back to genius. I made our computer look like it was running the new $130 operating system from Apple. Unfortunately, it costs $20 to register this facsimile so I decided to remove it.

That got me thinking at work (because I often do that there... it's better than working) that I'd like to see just how far I can push this little PowerPC G3 Mac computer on the desk. I shopped around a bit online and found 256MB of memory for less than US$40, including the shipping. It's currently running on 64MB, so I've multiplied my brain size 400%. I'm a genius!

OK, I increased the computer's short term memory 400%. But I'm the one that's going to install it, so I'm still a genius.

Listen: Roll It Up - The Crystal Method.