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Thursday, May 25, 2006

This is not the post I thought I would be making on my return from England.

First off, the sundry stuff. It rained every day (we missed the good weather by a week). Still, you can't visit The North unless it's grim, I suppose. The Lake District is lovely, even in a downpour. Thanks to Matt and Helen for taking us. And I have every faith in Wayne Rooney's metatarsel so I bought a number 9 England shirt, c'mon England.

Here's the bit where I explain the first sentence. We went to see the family in the South on the Saturday. Tram from Bury to Manchester, then a train to Milton Keynes (arriving just before noon). Wendy, my sister, picked us up.

And we went straight to Stevenage because my dad had been taken to hospital. He was rushed in because he had a pain in his side, and the aneurysm he knew he had was leaking blood. Being 73 years old, and with a heart condition, the doctors didn't want to operate on the heart because of the aneurysm and didn't want to touch the aneurysm because of his heart.

This page says it's estimated "...that less than half of all patients suffering a ruptured aortic aneurysm will reach hospital alive and, of those that do, less than half will survive emergency surgery to repair the aneurysm. The overall risk of death if an aneurysm ruptures is therefore in the region of 80%."

Gilbert Seabrook, my dad, was not in the 20%. He passed away. I'll miss him more than dry words can ever express the loss. Only one song today ...dad's favourite song.

Love you, dad.

Listen : Blueberry Hill - Fats Domino, Louis Armstrong, Elvis Presley, Cliff Richard, Jimmy Sturr, Ray Coniff, The Beach Boys, Yellowman, ...and the way dad sang it.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

OK, quick inventory check.

Three hundred quid. Check.
Passports. Check.
eTickets for the flight. Check.
Called to get a taxi from the airport to the B&B. Check.

Get ready, Manchester. In just over four days, I'll be back in England for the first time in four years. So you better have a World Cup 2006 mug for sale, plenty of Cadbury's chocolate and bags of Smoky Bacon Crisps at the ready, and steak and kidney pie when I want it. Because I'm back, if only for a week, and by the GODS I've missed that steak and kidney pie.

COME ON!!!

Listen : This Is England - The Clash ... British Colonialism And The BBC - Chumbawumba ... World In Motion - NewOrder & The England 1990 World Cup Squad.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Ever see the film 'The Terminator'? Yeah, I know. 100% highbrow, well done Shawn. The bit where John Connor's dad from the future explains what a terminator T-800 is...

Listen and understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop. Until you are dead.

Now imagine that, but as a plant.



This is Japanese Knotweed. Otherwise known as Japanese Rhubarb, or (in my own words) That Bastard Plant I Refuse To Let Overgrow My Garden. Bastard, Bastard, Bastard. It was introduced as a lovely little plant from Asia because of its lovely little flowers ...and now it's such a problem everywhere except Asia that many countries have deemed it illegal if you deliberately plant the stuff. It grows from the root, so spraying it with weedkiller just annoys it. If you build a house on top of a small piece of root, it may not be the last you see of it. Just 0.7 grams of root is enough. It will grow up to seven metres underground and can be buried 3 metres down and still eventually get to the surface. Can't be bargained with, can't be reasoned with, and it absolutely will not stop. Until it destroys your foundations.

Here's the bit that will blow your mind. According to this page, the plant is naturally dioecious, which means that you need male and female plants for sexual reproduction to take place. But only a female was introduced in Europe and America. One female plant, with cuttings from that one plant and breakoffs from that one plant, has spread out across the world. Which means all the Japanese Knotweed I'm digging out is just looking for a boyfriend. In pure total biomass terms, it is probably the biggest female in the world. The infestation in Swansea in the south of Wales ALONE has been estimated to weigh 62,000 tonnes, the same as 40 blue whales!

It's not all bad. it's called Japanese Rhubarb for a reason. It's edible. The link takes you to Wild Man Steve Brill's site where he has recipes for Apple and Knotweed Pie, Knot Soup, Steamed Knotweed Sesame... so if society fails tomorrow, I'll be digging up the stuff and boiling a pot of water.

Listen : A Growing Boy Needs His Lunch - Dead Kennedys ... The Garden - Faithless ... Donkey Rhubarb - Aphex Twin. Nice selection of punk and electronica there.