Ever see the film 'The Terminator'? Yeah, I know. 100% highbrow, well done Shawn. The bit where John Connor's dad from the future explains what a terminator T-800 is...

Listen and understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop. Until you are dead.

Now imagine that, but as a plant.

This is Japanese Knotweed. Otherwise known as Japanese Rhubarb, or (in my own words) That Bastard Plant I Refuse To Let Overgrow My Garden. Bastard, Bastard, Bastard. It was introduced as a lovely little plant from Asia because of its lovely little flowers ...and now it's such a problem everywhere except Asia that many countries have deemed it illegal if you deliberately plant the stuff. It grows from the root, so spraying it with weedkiller just annoys it. If you build a house on top of a small piece of root, it may not be the last you see of it. Just 0.7 grams of root is enough. It will grow up to seven metres underground and can be buried 3 metres down and still eventually get to the surface. Can't be bargained with, can't be reasoned with, and it absolutely will not stop. Until it destroys your foundations.

Here's the bit that will blow your mind. According to this page, the plant is naturally dioecious, which means that you need male and female plants for sexual reproduction to take place. But only a female was introduced in Europe and America. One female plant, with cuttings from that one plant and breakoffs from that one plant, has spread out across the world. Which means all the Japanese Knotweed I'm digging out is just looking for a boyfriend. In pure total biomass terms, it is probably the biggest female in the world. The infestation in Swansea in the south of Wales ALONE has been estimated to weigh 62,000 tonnes, the same as 40 blue whales!

It's not all bad. it's called Japanese Rhubarb for a reason. It's edible. The link takes you to Wild Man Steve Brill's site where he has recipes for Apple and Knotweed Pie, Knot Soup, Steamed Knotweed Sesame... so if society fails tomorrow, I'll be digging up the stuff and boiling a pot of water.

Listen : A Growing Boy Needs His Lunch - Dead Kennedys ... The Garden - Faithless ... Donkey Rhubarb - Aphex Twin. Nice selection of punk and electronica there.